IT'S THAT DAMN MORTALITY THING

  A few weeks back I had lunch with my favorite therapist, who had some family news to share which he thought would resonate with me. It did, but it is not mine to share here. The thing which struck me is when he said, "My wife and I are on the wait-list at Lathrop Independent Living Community in Northampton. It takes a couple of years for a unit to become available, so if you and Rick want to do this, do it soon."

   "Hmmm," says I to myself. "I hate the thought of leaving here. Ever! The coyotes, the vultures, bald eagles, owls, 24 acres, the view to the mountains. The privacy! And my 6 gardens." (I know, what was I thinking of?)

  I mentioned it casually to Rick the following day, and he immediately sunk into a dark funk, not wanting to talk about it except to say, "That's my death you are talking about, baby!" Of course. It is the next thing in line for us in our life journey.

  But being the fabulous man that he is, the following day he apologized and said, "Let's investigate and talk about it." I lined up a tour of the facility (A 37--acre campus; 77 units, all one floor; trails through woodlands; a Meeting House in the center, based on Quaker values), and we set off in our walking shoes.

  The man who oversees the facility was utterly fabulous--compassionate, caring, answering all questions, orienting us to the community and its values, and more. He told us that, "No one wants to leave their home. It's hard for everyone." Which reassured me that we were not being too whiny and babyish.

  We saw two of the units, one beautifully furnished and one empty, awaiting its re-do before the new folks moved in. It's pretty spacious and they have terraces and back yards. Nice. "A heated garage!" Rick exclaimed. "We can take our groceries straight into the kitchen!" I enthused. Although said kitchen is very small compared to my present luxurious one.

The people we met there were quite wonderful--friendly, outgoing, educated, and involved in the community. Their units were beautifully furnished and rather terrifyingly neat. (My husband and I tend to be packrats and not so neat.)

   We are in the midst of this centrifuge of getting older; figuring out what's ahead of us; trying to decide how long to stay in our hilltop aerie with the wicked steep drive, land, glacial rock,and 23 stairs to climb, with groceries just to get to the first floor.  What are the deal-breakers in this step? What is essential that we keep? What must we let go?

  Man, this adulting stuff is hard. 90% of my brain is taken up trying to figure this out; painting the walls down there in my imagination; arranging furniture; telling Kate Childs I must buy one of her seascapes to put on the wall.  I imagine myself joining a singing group (I love to sing), teaching a cooking class (This is how to make ratatouille!), and more.  Honestly, Annie, get a grip. Anyone else out there confronting their mortality and aging in place? Feel free to comment. I'd love to hear from you!!

Two addendums: for those of you who missed my sermon at the UCC on "Celebrating the Trans Community," here is the link:
1/  hccnews@haydenvillechurch.org. Click on, "HCC Website," then on, "Recent Sermons."
2/ If you'd like to see my recent piece in Busted Halo on how the mass keeps me real, see: https://bustedhalo.com/ministry-resources/the-reasons-why-mass-keeps-me-real.