7 STUPID THINGS CATHOLIC BROAD DID IN 2018

Ah, so much to choose from. Could be--running up a truly large Amazon.com bill; thinking I could walk up our hill in yoga pants in 28 degree weather;  and more. But let's get down and get dirty and see if we can come up with 10. Might be more like 5?



1/ Scraping all the crud off of my many counters and instead of putting it in the pull--out wastebasket below, throwing the crud in my utensil's drawer. 'Cause it's a capture error, friends. And it's still there!

2/ Leaving my GINORMOUS grey pocketbook hanging over the back of my chair at Dunkin' Donuts last March when going down to visit son and daughter-in-law in L.I. We got it back with help of employees and fabulous police department. I had everything in this satchel: iPhone, iPad, wallet, money, ID, etc. etc.

3/ Making a New Year's resolution to take our Jack on more exciting outings, so gathering her up, along with my sweetie, and driving to local Dunkin' Donuts. Did I remember where to place my order? Noooo.....Did I try to order IN the trash bin which came out in a sort of inviting, talk-to-me-here kind of way? Yaasss..... I just don't get this high-tech stuff. I wish we were back in the days of vinyl covered stools you sat on and soda fountains with servers called "Bub" who wore jaunty little white caps. Sigh. Or maybe covered wagons with the Ingalls going West.

4/ Ok, I am struggling to come up with 10, so am going to steal some from other years. Here's one from many years back: making roast ham with raisin sauce. Really? Has anyone but me actually tried this? It's a "Woman's Day" kind-a recipe. and tasted like one. We are not talking "Saveur" here folks.

5/ Ordering a new peppy-peppy DVD focusing on strengthening legs, with a special stretchy ankle doo-dah. And this just before my left knee went out again, due to the no-cartilege-in-it which I have seen in an x-ray. Doh! I haven't even unwrapped the ankle stretch thing, knowing it will kill my legs.

6/ Ordering a truly nifty and bright apron to make, believing I would actually put up my sewing machine on a rather crappy desk in one of my kid's rooms and sew it up. Do I remember how to thread this machine?  Noooo....But my intentions were so good! I actually have been considering just buying a totally new machine. Simpler, easier, for no-tech broads like me.

7/ Leaving the bird feeders out after the bears had come out of hibernation. Say what? What's that on my deck?




And here beginneth a new year, 2019. I will put forth some of my resolutions as well as my new favorite words or expressions, 'cause, just because.

1/ I resolve to grow more neurons. What? You telling me I can't do this through an act of will? CBD oil? MM? Green smoothies?
2/ I resolve to simplify my cooking. We love it, but it is so much work to clean up.
3/ I resolve to learn more dairy-free, soy-free, gluten-free cooking for my second son.
4/ I resolve to not order ANYTHING from Amazon for the entire month of January. It's a "dry January-buying" thing.
5/ Also not drinking, which is so much better for this Cancer Survivor.
6/ I resolve to stop being "Mrs. Fix-it," which a dear priest once termed me in Confession over a decade ago. I am like Charlie Chaplin in "Modern Times," rushing around with my wrench, tightening bolts and things. Great film!
7/ I resolve to keep Friday a day of helping others: go to Survival Center, send money to CRS, call a sick friend, whatever comes up. I am following in Pope Francis's footsteps here.
8/ I resolve to let go of regret and shame.

FAVORITE PHRASES:

--dolly-mop, an 18th-century expression for a gay man; "game-girl," for prostitutes--being "on the game."
--"peppy-peppy", what my son termed my insane workout DVD. He thought she was on some kind of drug, she was so peppy.
--techoboobsweatflop--when I can't cope with IT crap. I sweat.
--"Call Me Ishmael"--time to reread this!

And a Happy New Year to all my peeps out there! May this year bring you health, joy, good birding, nature walks, friends & family, love, and great pets!

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