LANGUISHING

   Awhile ago I read a marvelous article in the NY Times by, who remembers? Who has a brain that works?--someone who nailed the emotional and psychological state I am in, along with most of the people I talk to. He had a visual showing Happiness on the top, Depression on the bottom, and in the middle the state he called, "Languishing."

 

 It is neither happy nor depressed but somewhere in between. A religious person might call this "Acedia," defining a time of spiritual dryness in prayer. I got that too as my prayer life seems to be quite parched now.

  I blame Languishing on my lack of motivation to:

--de-clutter my study or at least throw away the old banana skins;

 

--start writing poetry or short stories again;

--organize my stuffed closet;

--look at my vampire novel from a decade ago, take it up, and see where it goes;

--take all my clothes I no longer wear to the Cancer Connection;

--have folks in to dinner, although we have had some fine times with home made muffins and coffee on the deck.

 Does that sound self-pitying? I hope not. It's just that I feel like a rain gauge with no water in it,

 or maybe just 2 centimeters at the bottom. I just ain't got it. And I bet, if we are being honest, a ton of you out there ain't got it either.

 So, what to do? How do I deal with my Languishing, neither happy nor depressed? Well, I tend to buy things. From StitchFix and Amazon, mostly food from the latter which I can excuse as I open yet ANOTHER cardboard box, "It's food, Rick.  See?" I say, holding up some Italian Seasoning or organic walnuts.

 But now that my honey is retiring at the end of December, this broad has a serious comeuppance coming. As in--a budget. As in--not buying useless but pretty stuff. As in--being an adult.

  What else? Cooking, of course. Somehow, Languishing does not apply to my passionate love of cooking; arranging beautiful peppers on the black counter, getting out my good cook wear, pressing tofu, making a spicy stir-fry sauce with Gochujang, and so much more. It feeds my soul and makes me feel that I am not just a useless hunk of flesh taking up space on the earth. Also, Rick appreciates it, and I love the resulting dishes.

  Giving money to charities to help Haiti and Afghanistan, as well as to the poor and unhoused nearby. I like Catholic Charities and Save the Children in particular.

  Reading English mysteries. What is it about novels set in Victorian or Edwardian England? I just adore them, especially the Charles Todd and Charles Finch series.

 I have recently been brave and gotten the Anne Perry World War I novels which are riveting. I have learned so much about the history of that time, that dreadful war, and living in the trenches.  Apparently, you can make hottish tea in a billy can over a candle, although it tastes of oil. Did you know that the Germans had trenches far deeper than the Allies, better reinforced with wood, dryer, and also some had electricity! For me, learning something new helps with the "languishing" stuff.

  Sitting on the deck in the sun (soon to get colder) and watching the Monarchs fluttering on our tall, wine-colored Butterfly Bush. I could watch them endlessly. They are small sparks of joy as they float around, investigate a Japanese Anemone, and then settle once again on the bush. That color! Pure joy.

  Sad to say I spend more time on Social Media than I should, when I could be reading Augustine's "Confessions," theological tomes, butterfly identification books, etc. etc. I especially like Pinterest because they know the kind of food I like to cook and send me lots of nifty recipes, like the "Keto Almond Ricotta Cake" which I just made again. (I got the recipe from the "All Day I Dream of Food" blog.)

Looking at food photos just soothes my soul, and also--guilty pleasures--following the Royals. Sad sad sad. Prince Charles--are you turning out to be a grifter?

  What do you do to help you deal with Languishing, if you are in that place as well? What activities help ground you and bring some joy into your soul?