MY LIFE IS ONE TOTAL DISCONNECT

In my trawlings across the internet, (health news, bra searches, clothing during chemo, hair loss, wigs, anti-inflammatory diets, Catholic memes, Catholic saints), I have accrued a disconnected series of links. They pop up each morning after prayer ( helphelphelp, should Pence be President?), and I will skip the misgendering item featuring the size of my organ and how yippee-skippee that will make my partner.

Here are some recent ones, each of which can cause a serious head-snap:

--Avoid Embarrassing Accidents vs Sexy Women's Underwear

--Senior Living vs Escape to the Tropics

--Hospital Beds for Home vs Hot Sex Every Night

--Fight Hair Loss vs Kentucky Sour Hats

--Best of the Breast vs Catholic Saints

I can't seem to get this straight, and my mind veers drunkenly from one self-image to another. Either I am one hot babe, or I am ready for a bed from Hospital Supplies. Either I've got thick, wavy hair, or I am bald as a coconut and need to order Rogaine.  Either my breasts will adore

a pushup bra, or I must read about St. Agnes who had hers cut off as part of her martyrdom.  Either I can hold my pee, or I should invest in an adult diaper with a shred of lace on it so I won't feel too downhearted. Either I can revisit my favorite topless beach in Guadeloupe, or I will look into Senior Beach Excursions in a wet suit and Cabinette.

Yikes! These are things your mother never told you, or anyone else for that matter--that you can be both/and, and not either/or, as the wise Richard Rohr so often reminds us.  This is what happens when you reach the feisty age of 71  You are a bundle of seeming contradictions, but in the end, they don't really abrade each other.  I carry all of my past selves within--sexy, tired, bald, with hair, wild girl, convert to Catholicism, reader of racy novels, peruser of Catholic theology, nature girl, attender at Eucharistic Adoration, and more.

And ain't it marvelous?  We don't need to be defined by one or two things anymore, but like a free-flying bird with many-colored feathers, we can soar into the air, reflect the sunlight, and take joy in our wild complexity.