CATHOLIC BROAD SHARES HER GOD MESSAGES

     Here's a post I gave a title to but never actually wrote. So now I shall take begin again--it being a gray and rainy day, which we needed--and try and put this narrative in some kind of order. It will not necessarily be chronological, but will let you see the God messages I received over time, and how they steer me onto the right path. I named them, "The CNN Messages from God," like those narrow trailers of words we see beneath a tv picture.

   Some years ago when praying, I definitely "heard" this message, and it was very direct:

     "You are slipping away from me, Ann. You need a tighter rope to keep you closer to me." This was in response to my questioning whether I should pursue joining the Catholic Church, the summer of 2001. I did wind up joining, happily, and this church did tie me more closely to God with Daily Readings, the Sacraments, the Eucharist, the Mass, and more.

     I often prayed about whether I should spend more time in the Catholic Church or in the UCC church where my friends were and where the outreach was more welcoming to the LGBTQ community. The response was, "Church is not your home. I am your home."

     One morning when delighting in the sound of birdsong outside, I told God that I would miss birdsong in heaven. The quick answer was, "Annie, what makes you think there is no birdsong in heaven?"

     Another time, when lifting to God my fears of death and dying, God said, "Don't you want to go home to your Father?" Well, yes, but not YET! Another time, I got, "God is in the decay," as well as, "Death is not a door, it is a threshold." These are like koans which you can meditate on as they unfold and unfold their meanings over time.

     When worrying and fretting about a family situation that was stressing me out, my message was this: "Don't look for a pain-free life; look for a joy-soaked life."

     The summer of 2015 when I began to experience serious fatigue from my as-yet undiagnosed cancer, I "heard", "I mean to grow you, Annie." Couldn't it have been easier, God? Like a sore hangnail or a broken toe? Maybe some canker sores? Nothing like a little get-down and get-dirty suffering to bring wisdom and closeness to the divine.

     Then, well after my 2 surgeries and months of chemo, I experienced some cancer PTSD, feeling depressed and shaky about all I had gone through. God's CNN message was, "You are a sturdy soul; you will weather this storm." So reassuring!

     Once when praying and reflecting on a comment I'd read that the history of the Jews always alternated between Babylon (captivity) and Jerusalem (God's temple and home), I "heard", "Your heart is your Jerusalem." I think the underlying message was that we all alternate between captivity and liberation.

     Those who know me and follow this blog know that I have an Amazon shopping addiction, which has definitely gotten far, far worse since cancer. One day, when praying and asking God what was this about, hoping for a directive which would solve my problem, the clear answer was, "Fear disguised as desire."

     There are many more, but I will save them for another post. These messages are to remind you that EVERYONE can talk to God and can hear back from Her. We just have to listen, pray, get silent and make ourselves available. Am I a mystic? R. Rohr would say so, by his definition of anyone who has a direct experience of God's presence. But I think we all have the capacity to become mystics. We just have to sit quietly in a chair and listen.