THINGS I WISH WERE DIFFERENT

This could include a lot of things such as: there being no bloodsuckers in forest ponds; Trump not being our president: Pence not being a possible successor; my new bali bra not fitting properly; my neuropathy going away; nuclear threats disappearing; and all of my friends being healthy with none having cancer or other dire diagnoses or panic attacks.

1/ I wish that damn crazed dude had never put poison in the Tylenol capsules so many years ago. In the early 70s was it? And NOW--every single damn pill container is wrapped in plastic, then has a hard to open top, and if that weren't protection enough, then there is that impossible to pull open plastic thing-a-ma-bob on top. I have to go lie down and put a wet washcloth over my eyes after I open one of these. And often, I just say--"F..k it!" throw the container across the counter, and decide to never take that medication again or vitamin.

2/ What is it with gravity and female bodies? What happened to those young glorious boobs (once nicknamed, Martha and Gertrude) as time went by? Do I need to have a wire-supported bra which I hate? Can I actually wear that lovely, sexy little scrap of black lace which you pull on, groaning, 'cause right rotator cuff is still not repaired, or will it not support Martha and Gertrude in the sturdy fashion to which they have become accustomed?

3/ Do we need to mention what happens to women's bellies as they age? That they take on a personality and presence saying to the world, "Here I am, damn it! No nasty comments. Appreciate the two children I have borne and all the meals cooked and consumed. Love me!" I admit to doing core work in the hopes the two bellies will disappear (I now have belly # 2, or as I call it, "My Accessory Belly.") Then I look at my Daily Art site and upload paintings by Renoir with women whose bellies are softly rounded. I love Renoir. But not Twiggy.

4/ Wish I had danced with my son at his lovely wedding--a regret I will always have. Floundered off (probably had had too many of those odd but potent blue drinks) to the hotel with my family and totally forgot I was supposed to be there! Sigh. Sniff.

5/ I wish I had a butler of the male persuasion who would possibly live in, have a ferocious sense of humor, start my car, put on the seat warmer, and scrape the windshield, and would bring me tea and biscuits in bed--wait! It's my husband, Rick!! How blessed am I.

6/ I wish there were greater diversity of wildlife at our house. I think the climate change is influencing this: no blue jays, hardly any cardinals, no redpolls, no purple finches or red finches, a few woodpeckers, no Flickers, no red-winged blackbirds, no thumpers in the pond, hardly any red effs up the road anymore, etc. Ravens, wild turkeys, coyotes, and deer we got.

7/ I wish small local grocery stores were the norm instead of ginormous shops in which I get neuropathy, anxiety, and sometimes leave guiltily with my cart half-full, sweating, heading out to my car in the lot. Burgy has a lovely little store with kind, generous people in it. I love it. But the days are gone when my mom (who rarely ever grocery shopped in her entire life) would call in an order to the store at the edge of State St. (like Serio's but different, if I remember): "And please I would like a 5 lb. roast of beef, lean; one can of crushed tomatoes; one pkg. of thin spaghetti; paper towels; orange juice and milk," and it would be boxed up for my dad to pick up on his way home from Metcalf Printing on Clark St.

7/ I wish everyone I knew could know in their dear hearts that they are God's beloved; that God holds them in her warm hands; that there is nothing they can do that would make God stop loving them; and that in the end, "All will be well, all will be well, and all manner of things shall be well." (Julian of Norwich)