ARE YOU OK?

 Am I the only one who gets cheery and almost empathetic questions from places I have bought things from? The most recent was from Land's End, from whom I had just bought a pair of LARGE, floppy, do-not-grab-my-butt-while-sleeping, PJs. They wrote to me, "Are you ok?"

What the hell? Now I get outreach from clothing stores? This is one strange, weird, often sad world we are living in, my peeps. I expect my friends and family to ask me this question. But not Land's End.

So I am going to ask you--"Are you ok?" Have you cried today? Have you eaten half a bag of dorritos or perhaps chocolate chips? Steady on the black licorice. Turns out a bag can kill you, as it did a  local man recently while at a fast food place. 

Why didn't Potus try this out? I think if I were a better person I could have prayed for him while ill, although it is clear he is still ill. And now we know that Covid can cause hallucinations and cognitive issues, plus confusion (how would we know?), it is even scarier living here while he is in charge.

I've been posting a lot about strategies for maintaining our sanity, rituals, reaching out to charity, and doing things which will help us to survive until Jan. 1st. And I do them. It's just that it is hard to keep hope alive, keep my spirits up, and more on this rather stormy day. Especially since Google just f..ked with my blog, and it does not work the way it used to. Usually about this time of day (around 3 in the afternoon), I traipse downstairs and begin prepping dinner. I have tonight's all set in my mind: baked salmon in a mustard, maple syrup, ginger glaze, with sweet potatoes cut on my crinkly (dangerous) mandolin, tossed with cinnamon, and served beside fresh broccolini from the garden. It just does not give up. Maybe there's a lesson there?

And, of course, those of you who follow me on FB know that this past week suddenly got dire in the eye department when my left eye got a retinal bleed, edema, and very watery vision as I went from dry Macular Degeneration to Wet MD. (No driving for me for awhile.) I did get good care and a shot in the eye with something called Avatin, originally a chemo drug, which slows the progress and growth of blood vessels. Here's hoping!

Beside the health stuff, this is what I find hard today: even listening to a Carolina Wren, even not wearing a bra and loose pants, even seeing Biden/Harris's lead, that old sense of one's heart going upwards is not taking place. Happy, even somewhat content, has flown out the window with the geese going South. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.

I remember years back, after my step-mom had been in a near-fatal car accident, how very difficult she was in recovery. Even more difficult than "normal," and she was one testy lady. But, in praying, the answer I got was this: "All the things she does to keep busy and stabilized are not available right now." So I took that into consideration, mustered a bit more empathy, and we got through with only a few battle scars.

I think now that things have just gone on too damn long: we are weary. Weary of crazy; tired of chaos; exhausted by the violence and horror perpetrated on People of Color and the poor; and frankly, I  miss seeing my family, peeps and being in church. Sometimes you don't know how much you love something and someone until they are out of reach. My perpetual child wants to meet friends at Alina's, have great food, make lots of jokes, and just be together. But that is not going to happen for another half-a-year or so, until we have a decent vaccine, maybe mid-spring. So, I just have to hold tight, listen to "What Unites Us," Dan Rather's book on Audible, 

watch pet videos, take care of others, and watch the leaves falling outside. And just so ya know, I picked the winner of this past week's Fat Bear Contest--747! If that won't cheer me up, I don't know what will.

NOTE TO THOSE WHO WANT TO COMMENT: APPARENTLY I HAVE TO GIVE AN OK FOR IT TO APPEAR NOW. THANKS GOOGLE! SO I JUST GAVE OK TO ALL WHO COMMENTED HERE AND ON PAST POSTS. DO NOT GIVE UP, PEEPS!