CATHOLIC BROAD HAS A VERY BAD DAY.

You know how it goes. You drag out of bed, rather than bounce, let out the dog, then feed her first before making your own breakfast, 'cause we know that our dogs are way more important than us. You inhale several cups of coffee, eat a cranberry nut muffin (home made), look at birds out the window and think, "Well, maybe this will be a good day." Then you suddenly realize with a stab of horror, IT'S MONDAY!

You hear a strange clanking in the pantry, look around, and see some object on the floor--about 7" long--which appears to be moving. Your Jack Russell is nosing it excitedly but also cautiously, because she is not stupid. You suddenly realize it is a trapped mouse which has somehow fallen off of the pantry counter and is dragging itself in the trap across the floor. Its tail is still moving. Waving in a dejected sort of way.

With a last wistful glance at your heated muffin--with butter and jam on it--you grab a plastic bag, rush to the pantry, tell the dog to GIT, and with a washcloth push the awful, bleeding, moving mouse into the bag. Then, holding the bag tenderly, you rush it outside and put it out of the dog's reach.

When you scoot back into the heated kitchen, in your slippers of course, you see dog poop on the tile floor. WTF? "I just let you out, you deranged, evil pup!" you screech, opening the door to the deck and praying she can't get at the mouse whose tail was still moving, last time you looked. Argh. What a way to start one's day. But, after all, it is Monday, and we know how those days go, even if you are no longer drinking.

What else went wrong? Besides reading that our doleful, evil commander-in-chief is now opening the Arctic Preserve to drilling (how can this be? I thought it was Protected! And anyway, oil is on its way out, in case you hadn't heard. Invest in renewable, you feeble, horrible cheeto.) Oh, yeah, and the Wisconsin GOP is trying to hamstring the incoming Democratic governor and Democratic House. Sigh. My hope at the Dem win in the House is a bit battered.

Ok, girding my loins, so to speak, that night we set off for a lovely early dinner with two darling friends at Con Vino Wine Bar in Noho. Did I say Wine Bar? No problem, because I have a plan: Please give me a slice of lemon for my water, and that's it for drinking. Which I do. After a grand acorn butternut squash soup, with a hit of spice and a bay leaf on top, and a pressed goat's cheese, olivada sandwich (Yum!), we stand and prepare to leave. I am past my sell-by-date, with a kind of fatigue that literally makes my knees shake, as well as my hands. (Chemo!) I try to zip up my light black down coat several times, totally failing, and whispering again, "WTF?"

Outside in the parking lot, my girlfriend helps me, laughing, "You were trying to zip your coat to your vest, Annie."  HAHAHA. They were both black down. And I didn't have my glasses on. But have to say, that I laughed hysterically. Aging Catholic Broad ends her day on a high note, right??? And I couldn't even blame it on my 2 glasses of wine! Thank God. (In case you are interested, today is unofficial Day 28, Official Day 27--when I joined James Swanwick's "30-Day No alcohol Challenge.") It is working so well, for anyone who wants to recalibrate their relationship with alcohol.

And guess what? It's Advent, a time of preparation, prayer, lifting candles, going to Mass, and thinking about the ultimate love and perfection coming our way!