HOW MONKEYS TEACH US TO BE HUMAN

    I know, I know, Annie is damn infatuated with monkeys! Macaques, to be precise, in the Savannah Camp in Cambodia. I have been watching the Amber troupe for some time and have learned so many things about primates, and in the process, so many things about us humans. Here are a few lessons I have found over time which have real lessons on how to be a better human:

1/ Monkeys adore their young. Of course, this isn't always true, just as it isn't always true for human mothers. There are monkey moms who, after giving birth, drop their newborns on the ground, or from a tree branch to their death below, or simply do not pay attention. Just like bad human moms. But, oh, how the good ones hug their newborns to their chests, licking off the birth fluids from their bodies, clutching them close to their nipples, ready for nursing. I take heart from these scenes. Something about watching a newborn suckle at her mom's breast just fills my heart.

2/ Monkey moms discipline their young. Just like human moms, with some differences. Since life in the wild as a macaque is not easy, fraught with dangers and poachers, the monkey moms toughen up their offspring by: dragging them across the ground as they protest loudly, forbidding them milk 24 hours per day, and pushing them away at times. Perhaps we human moms are a tad different? I do not remember dragging either Ben or Char across our floors, although, at times, I certainly felt like it! And though Ben nursed every 1 and 1/2 hours in the beginning, we did manage to get on a kind of schedule so I was not spending every minute of the day with my boobs hanging out of my blouse. I also found that "No" or "Stop!" were important words for my kids to learn to protect them from: falling, the fireplace, a hot stove, and my cup of hot tea. Discipline is essential for the survival of our species.

 

3/ Macaque births resemble human births. Sometimes the babies come out feet first which does not go well at all, with the newborn often born dead. While head-first births are the norm for macaques, at times the delivery is very slow, esp. for first-time mothers or very old ones. They perch high up in trees, straining to get the baby out, reaching behind with one hand to catch the baby and bring them to their chest. Human moms have similar deliveries, although not perched atop a tree, thank God. Sometimes a human baby is breech, and that requires additional nursing and midwifery care. At times a human birth can go on for days with the mother being exhausted before the baby is finally delivered. We are both primates, after all.

4/ Monkey moms mourn their dead babies. I have seen their faces drawn with sorrow, heard their laments like low moans that go on often overnight as they carry their dead babies around for days.

Similarly, if a newborn's Mom dies after a hard birth, when the mom is either very young or old, the newborn clings to her body, refusing to let go. I have seen their faces and they are unutterably sad and miserable. Anyone who claims animals do not have emotions is talking out of their ear.

5/ Most Macaques are very patient with their young. You would have to be with a baby hanging on your nipples and sucking 24/7. There is a real tenderness in the moms towards their young, holding them with one paw, stroking and licking their heads. Even when the babies crawl up on the moms' heads, dangling down over their eyes and lips, the Moms endure it. Mostly. So, too, if a human parent is basically stable and mature, they can be extraordinarily patient with their young.

 

6/ Monkeys have a complicated social life.  There are dominant females--who often steal the newborns from lower-ranking monkeys--monkeys at the bottom of the hierarchy, and everyone in between. They tend to sit together, the Moms with their nursing newborns, like women in a Baby Play Group. I love watching how their backs touch, how the monkeys groom each other to express closeness and affection.

 

7/ Monkeys know how to defuse tension.  Of course, at times a pack of macaques will brutally attack and kill a lower-ranking monkey for no reason at all. But at other times, I have witnessed monkeys showing their teeth to each other--a get-away expression--and then coming closer to begin grooming. As they groom each other's coats intently, you can almost see them sighing with relief. Too bad us humans cannot do this.

So, watching monkey videos is not a complete waste of time for me. Although I sometimes feel guilty about the time I spend, I have learned so much about them and about us human primates. I only wish I had a sister to groom me!