PLEASE TAKE A PAUSE, MY PEEPS

 As someone with a chronic illness which takes some attention and managing (do not ask how many pills and supplements I take!), I have had to learn how to Rest between events, after events, and even before events.

 Like people visiting. Like two church services. Like visiting the RMV with a birth certificate, no less, to renew my license and get a new photo. Horrors. I prefer the one from 15 years ago when I had lovely long hair.

  I have written about The Spoon Theory before, but if you have somehow missed it, check it out on Google. Christine Miserandino invented it when at lunch with a friend, the friend asked her, "What is it like to be you?" (And BTU, this is the very best question you can ask a Spoonie.)(This is one of the very best things you can ask anyone with a chronic illness.) Christine took up the cutlery on the table and put out one spoon; "This is getting up in the morning." She added another spoon to the first, making two: "This is taking a shower and getting dressed." She added a third one to the cluster; "This could be grocery shopping, visiting your mom, or dropping your kid at soccer practice." (This is my summation, not her words, but certainly her intent.)

 

  Here is what a "normal" Saturday looks like at my house, although the word "normal" has sadly been thrown over our deck railing, much as I would toss a dead Zombie from a battle on our deck with the foam-wrapped poles Char made years back. 

 

 Get up at 6 or 6:30. Start water for tea, microwave GF muffin, set out Almond Creamer, marg, strawberry jam, and a cup of pineapple segments. Let dog out on back deck to pee on grass. Let in, eat breakfast, feed dog, brush teeth, take a gazillion pills, and TAKE THE PAUSE, ANNIE. Sit on couch with remaining tea (after heating in microwave), cuddle with dog, and do my Daily Scripture Readings. I also do deep breathing, a la Wim Hof (check on Google) to get myself ready for the day. It settles anxiety and makes your lungs feel bigger and easier.

  Then I take a 15 min. walk on deck to clear my head and exercise, saying the Rosary as I go. I won't do the whole day as that is boring, but this is the plan: every hour or so, plunk butt on sofa, scroll through FB and emails, and take another PAUSE. The dog appreciates this as does my body with my Autonomic Nervous System disorder (OH) and leg neuropathy.

  As I know this Saturday we will be going to Mass in Northampton, I prep everything for supper so that when I return--a tad tired--I do not have to cook, other than dumping chopped veggies into a pan, sauteeing, putting over rice noodles, and tipping some spicy peanut sauce I made before on top before microwaving.

 

  Dear Rick always does the clean-up, not needing as many pauses as I do. I head for PJs, some monkey videos, and another Pause on the couch. Today I am actually in PJs at 3:00, makeup off, and teeth flossed, 'cause it has been a low spoons day.

  Sometimes a Pause does not do t'job, as the Brits say. Sometimes we Spoonies have used up so much energy, that we have to lie down on our beds, read a bit, or just take deep breaths. I have had to leave events early because the emotional content is so high that my spoons are now in the minus drawer (our beloved UCC church). I have disappointed and hurt some dear friends this way, but this is what life is like when you are a Spoonie. Sometimes we just give up, text our beloveds, and say, "Sorry, can't do it. Talk later." And they--knowing us--will not be angry, maybe disappointed, but always understanding that at times we are balancing on a knife edge of energy which can only be replaced by rest, pausing, silence, and dogs. Wine does not help. Tea does and GF apple coffeecake.

 And prayer. How could I forget that one? "Please God, could you just tip that cup that runneth over into my cup so I can drink and gain more energy?"

Feel free to use this for yourself, all my dear Spoonies out there. I must cogitate if there are events, people, and things which fill up our Spoon drawer after it is empty. I kind of think Mass does that, as I enter with my cane, walking carefully, having pushed myself to get to church. Then the music begins, the familiar ritual, the Eucharist, and somehow I am restored and plentified. You are now free to borrow my new word which shall be in the Oxford Dictionary next year, just as "rizz" was in this year. Pray that we all may be plentified this Christmas Season!