THE SOLACE OF EVERYDAY LIFE

   Those of you who follow me on FB know that I have recently received some not great health news, as a recent CAT scan discovered a 3 centimeter solid mass on the upper right quadrant of my colon. Not good. Always possible it could turn out to be a benign tumor, but gut sense is that it will turn out to be cancerous after diagnostic tests and the dreaded colonoscopy. Those of us who have had cancer before--me with 3 kinds almost ten years ago--know that it can appear once again sometimes in the same place, sometimes in a different place and form. Hence. WTF!

 

  Up 'till now I have been massively worried about the loss of democracy in our country which, while having some serious issues with racism, wealth inequality, misogyny, and more, it still was a democracy under the rule of law. But now--with a stolen  election, GOP controlled Congress who fails to protect us, and a corrupt SCOTUS--we are in such trouble. Such trouble. So that has been my MO for the last several months until this recent call from my PA.

 

  But this is what I am finding out. When I focus on the rituals of everyday life; getting up at 5:30, starting water for tea, heating up my homemade pumpkin nut muffin, letting the dog out, and hanging up the bird feeders outside--my heart slows. My worries do not totally go away, but they are not a weighted cloak around my shoulders. Watching birds at their feeders outside always calms my worried heart.

 

  Next I do my 15 min. of brisk walking either on the deck or in the house, after 5 min. of balance exercises and 5 min. of arm strengthening exercises. After dressing, I sit on the couch and read the daily lessons from Give Us This Day, along with their always wonderful and profound reflections. I write down my Gratitudes in my journal, ask God to help me learn to be brave and accept my mortality, and list those in need of prayer, including our Democracy, Ukraine, and Gaza.

 

 Once I am up and mostly running, I go out to garden. We now have the newly-expanded "Annie Garden", formerly a veggie garden then a pollinator garden, plus our smaller raised bed garden with a 9' tall fence to deter the deer. When I am training cukes on a trellis, or putting pumpkins and butternut squash up on a t-pee grid, my mind is not thinking about my health or worrying about our poor country. Cutting back the devious bittersweet (thanks, birds!) keeps my mind in train and prevents me from worrying.

 

  Then it is time to dunk into the pool and change into fresh clothes, and eat lunch, usually one HB egg, slice of GF bread, and pineapple chunks. A nap soon follows with our dear Rough Coat JRT, Candy, curled up beside me and my Reiki shawl spread over my abdomen as I give Reiki to myself. What would we do without our dogs! We surely do not deserve them.

  I spend a ridiculous amount of time in the kitchen prepping for supper, chopping veggies, making noodles or rice, and baking in the oven. I follow Alana Scott's "A Little Bit Yummy" site as low-FODMAP seems to work best with my already re-sectioned intestines from prior cancer surgery in  2016. 

 

Making food satisfies my heart. The colors of fresh veggies make my spirit soar. Cooking keeps me grounded. Putting together a delicious supper which pleases the love of my life helps my heart, and do not forget the delight of putting one's nose over supper cooking in a pan and sniffing up the delicious aromas.

 And after supper? I walk another 15 brisk minutes on our deck then come in to crash on the couch to read my World War II books: "Nella Last's Diaries," 

and "A Vicarage In the Blitz, the wartime diaries of Molly Rich." Both strengthen me, showing me how "ordinary" women survived the war, managed to cook using rations, kept helping others, and despite discouragement, fear, shaky nerves after a bombing, they did keep on going. Not with a stiff upper lip. They are clear about the horrors of war and how they affected them. This too strengthens me, that women before me who were afraid, who quivered beneath their Morrison Shelters, & stayed mostly sane. I salute them.

 Then PJs around 8:30 and 9:00 in bed to read with my honey beside me and the doggy curled up by my body. I find I am re-reading old books as they feel safe and comforting: the Miss Read books set in England, and the Acton and Doyle mysteries set in London. Lights out usually by 9:30 which works for me, not for Rick though!

 Maybe some of the rituals of my daily life could help you as well. I forgot to put in that I always answer emails and texts, usually call a friend or two daily, and go to church on the weekends. Reading poetry also seems to help during this time, my most recent purchase (sorry, Amazon) is MORE, by Barbara Crooker who wrote, "how at night the dark trees turn into a river." 

We need sweet and poignant words during this terrible time and during my own health challenges which--as I told my younger son two days ago--"We will get through with courage and grace." Pray that that is so!